The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that is has taken place.

-George Bernard Shaw

Every morning, the moment we wake up, we begin to communicate. It may be with an exuberant yawn, or a disparaging grunt. We stumble to the kitchen to make ourselves a cup of coffee or tea either in silence or small talk with our families. We choose the outfit we will wear for work. We get stuck in traffic, perhaps honk our horns, or yell obscenities at other drivers. We arrive at work. We have bosses and subordinates. There is verbal communication and even written and then we go home, go to sleep and do it all over again the next day.

We are communicating every moment of our life in some away or another. Everything we do and say, even our expressions, and actions are communication with others, and often others will respond in kind.

There is no escape from communication, especially as human beings are highly social animals. It is not just that we “communicate” it is how.

Communication starts with self-awareness. Am I having a good day? Am I happy? How do I feel? If we cannot understand ourselves and communicate our internal feelings, how is it possible to communicate with others? It is so easy in conflict with others to blame the other person for misunderstanding your point, but think on it…How were you speaking? How were you standing? What were your choice of words?

It is lack of communication that destroys relationships and opportunities. It is also the lack of understanding how we are communicating. Therapists and experts of written books and gave seminars on best communication practices but the core factor is understanding the self.

Communication is a vital skill in the 21st century especially in lieu of digital technology. That personal touch is often lost as we hide away behind computers, talk to one another via text messages and chats.

The paradox of today’s world is that communication is expanding through solitude. We can sit in the privacy of our homes and communicate with hundreds of people around the world. In doing so, it is easy to lose our true identity, create new personas with little responsibility for our actions and words.

Positive communication however is vital to progress and peace. We need to learn to understand ourselves and others in order to communicate in such a way that we are not creating more harm and havoc.